Category Archives: Humour

The World’s Second Worst Panorama 2024

The World's Second Worst Panorama 2024
Camera: SONY DSC-RX100M7 | Date: 02-10-2024 19:26 | Resolution: 19106 x 3528 | ISO: 3200 | Exp. bias: -0.3 EV | Exp. Time: 1/25s | Aperture: 5.6 | Focal Length: 9.0mm (~24.0mm)

Here’s my traditional group panorama for the 2024 Cinque Terre and Tuscany trip. From the left: Yours Truly, Grant, Elizma, Hildige, John, Buzz and Lee.

Remind me never to book any of my fellow travellers for a portrait shoot – these have to be the blurriest photos I’ve ever had to deal with, and I’ve done some of these almost in the dark!

Enjoy!

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(In)Correct Tripod Technique!

Who Needs a Drone?

With Apologies to My Photography Tutors

First, I’d like to apologise to all the authors, tutors, mentors and tour leaders who have tried to instil in me “correct” tripod technique. As they say, it’s not you, it’s me.I don’t particularly have a philosophical objection to the three legged beast, and you will catch me using one when the camera has genuinely got to stay in one place for a long time, for example videoing a wedding speech, or taking a time-lapse photo sequence. However I do prefer a more free-wheeling approach, and my discovery that the latest Panasonic Dual Image Stabilisation allows me to hand-hold a wide-angle shot for 2-3s, or an extreme telephoto for 1/5s, has only encouraged me to eschew support when not essential.I do actually own three of the things, but the large and relatively heavy Manfrotto has only been used on one single photo shoot. However, coupled with the laser level it has proven invaluable as a surveying tool for our kitchen refit and preparing for my new workshop. My medium-sized Gitzo is a solid, professional but lightweight device, my default for a “serious” tripod. However I suspect I’d scare the purists by pointing out the pistol-grip Manfrotto head – none of this fancy gear rubbish!

And then there’s the Frankentripod ™. (It’s great to have one search term which gets your website at the top of all the search engines, even if you have to make up a word to do it!) It’s the tripod I carry when I don’t want to carry a tripod, but feel I should, to show willing, or “just in case”. It does the job, most of the time, at very little cost in terms of luggage space or weight. I say “most of the time” because there are limitations – in Cinque Terre, for example, it wasn’t quite tall enough to clear some of the safety fences around the harbour in Manarola, but I found work-arounds.

The Frankentripod also turns out to be the ideal device for my new tripod technique, which I call “why get a drone when you have a tripod?” The technique is simple:

  1. Extend tripod to full length, legs together
  2. Put camera on tripod
  3. Flip screen out so you can see it from below
  4. Put camera on self-timer
  5. Start self-timer
  6. Raise camera above your head, to clear obstacles such as vegetation, tall people etc.
  7. Compose your shot by tilting the tripod as required
  8. Wait for 0s
  9. Bingo!

In the right situation this can be a game changer. For example, our views of Montisi from Castelmuzio were somewhat constrained by the fact that whoever was responsible for trimming the vegetation at the viewpoint was somewhat derelict in their duty. From head height the best wide shot was this, with some rather intrusive branches:

Montisi from Castelmuzio (Show Details)

However, the Frankentripod method got my camera up above the errant foliage, and produced this:

Montisi from Castelmuzio (Show Details)

The method does have some pre-requisites, and a couple of trust issues:

  1. Lightweight camera and tripod. This is not going to work with a Canon 1DS, 600mm lens and Uranium tripod, unless you take my instruction in point 5 very seriously!
  2. A flip-out or flip-down screen bright enough to be viewed from the other end of the tripod
  3. Image stabilisation, very good image stabilisation
  4. Trust that your camera is firmly attached. Otherwise this could become somewhat dangerous and expensive, although a long strap (shorter than yourself, obviously), tied to the tripod head, and a hard hat might provide some mitigation
  5. A steady hand and strong shoulders, otherwise ditto. Pump iron!
  6. A bit of skill to compose and then hold the composition in 10s, or whatever the timer is on your camera.

Or I could just buy a drone, Darling Wife!

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What’s That Shiny Yellow Thing?

Riomaggiore sunset
Camera: Panasonic DC-G9M2 | Date: 27-09-2024 18:50 | Resolution: 11333 x 6025 | ISO: 400 | Exp. bias: 0 EV | Exp. Time: 1/100s | Aperture: 8.0 | Focal Length: 16.0mm (~32.0mm) | Location: Riomaggiore | State/Province: Riomaggiore, Liguria | See map

We started day 2 by getting a train. There are essentially four ways of getting between the five towns which make up the Cinque Terre: you can walk along the cliff paths, go by boat, or get the excellent trains which run along or through the cliffs, roughly following the paths. Driving is very much the worst option as you have to drive up and down each steep valley, and parking is very limited. It’s also slow – Manorola to Riomaggiore is a 20 minute walk, less than 2 minutes by train, and a long drive of at least 20 minutes and 10 miles excluding parking and the walks into and out of town.

The only challenge with the train is that the timetable is somewhat erratic, as the same lines also serve Intercity traffic. Sometimes two local trains are minutes apart, at other times the wait can be over an hour.

The train took us to Venezza, town 4 of the 5, where we wandered down to the harbour to photograph waves breaking gently as the light rose through blue hour. However it soon became clear that we had another overcast day and no prospect of a photogenic sunrise.

Castello Doria, Venezza (Show Details)

We returned to Manarola to explore a little before lunch. The high path gives excellent panoramic views of the town, but I would have appreciated a bit more sunlight.

Manarola Panorama (Show Details)

Friday morning brought a new entry for the dysfunctional hotels blog. The shower cubicle was wide enough, but only deep enough to wet either my front or back, not both together. To complicate matters it included a large metal soap dispenser. To add injury to insult, while I was soaping myself I caught the dispenser with my head. This lifted the dispenser off the wall where it promptly fell onto my foot bruising my big toe. My injuries are not exactly life-threatening, but it’s a bit of an achievement bruising both head and big toe in one move.

Thursday night had been very stormy, with a strong wind. Our dawn shoot was back at Manarola Harbour, but dramatically different from the first, with waves breaking high over the rocks, breakwater and harbour edge.

Manarola – Stormy Waters! (Show Details)

When we got back from the harbour another storm had broken. Three delivery men were having a noisy argument bordering on punch-up outside our accommodation. We never did find out the cause but it took the arrival of the local policeman to calm things down.

We had feared another grey, stormy day but suddenly after breakfast the skies started to clear and a shiny yellow thing emerged. We took the opportunity to walk to Riomaggiore, the first of the Cinque Terre, on the wonderfully named Via Dell’Amore, a nicely surfaced cliff walk which has only recently reopened after a 12 year closure for re-engineering. Riomaggiore is very photogenic, but there’s a lot of up and down steep steps and slopes, not ideal for my grumbling hip and knees.

We returned to Manarola by train for lunch and a siesta, but then went back to Riomaggiore to watch the sunset (with real sun!). The great thing about Riomaggiore harbour is you have a choice of view only about 50m (and a few steps) apart. Lee and most of the team opted for shooting into the sunset, but I moved to the other side and concentrated on capturing the colourful buildings, and people, bathed in the orange glow. My motto for such circumstances: "Follow the Light".

We took dinner in Riomaggiore, but by the time all was said and done we had missed the 9.20 train, and the next wasn’t until 10.30pm. Most of the group decided to walk back, but I opted to wait for the train. A couple of nice glasses of Chianti at the railway bar went down well, and I then wandered over to the platform. A young lady sat down next to me and used a line I thought had gone out of fashion, the Italian equivalent of "have you got a light, kind sir", followed by an elaborate mime of looking for a lost lighter. Three possibilities: it was genuine, she was the local prostitute and the line had always worked, or she was a pickpocket, several of whom operate on the trains. Either way my "no sorry" plus a suggestion about rubbing two sticks together closed the conversation down!

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Trippin’ AI

Trippin' AI
Resolution: 1792 x 1024

Just how wrong can an AI get it?

As part of my effort to profile the power consumption of GenAI, I decided to try and summarise one of my travel blogs using ChatGPT and the other big public models, plus a series of smaller models which can be hosted locally on my Alienware workstation. What’s interesting is just how well, and badly, the different AIs handled the task.

The instruction in every case was the same: “Summarise the blog at https://www.andrewj.com/blog/2024/three-kirks-and-a-kirkufell/”. You might want to read the blog yourselves before reading further: it’s neither long nor complicated, but it defeated most of the contenders.

I tried to avoid writing “WTF”, but I was sorely tempted. Some of these are hallucinating like they’ve just taken LSD…

The Attempts!

ChatGPT

The blog post “Three Kirks and a Kirkufell!” recounts a photography trip around Iceland’s Snæfellsnes Peninsula. The author, despite dealing with a cold and Iceland’s challenging weather, visits and photographs three distinctive churches (“kirks”)—Búðir, Stóra-Hella, and Enni—before capturing the iconic Kirkjufell mountain. The journey includes dramatic landscapes, with highlights like waves crashing and snow-covered scenes. The narrative reflects the difficulties and rewards of winter travel in Iceland.

Score: 10/10. Excellent, couldn’t do better myself.

Gemini (Bard)

This is an article about a photographer’s trip to Iceland. It discusses his experiences photographing three churches and Kirkufell. He had some difficulty finding pharmacies with the medications he needed. He also had some trouble finding Kirkufell because of the weather. He eventually found it and took many photographs.

Score: 6/10. OK, effectively correct apart from the bit about not being able to find Kirkufell, but lacking the nicely condensed detail of the ChatGPT version.

CoPilot Chat

The blog post titled “Three Kirks and a Kirkufell!” by Andrew Johnston describes a travel experience in Iceland. The author recounts a cold, snowy day driving along the north of the Snaefellsnes peninsula. The journey included an attempt to visit Kirkufell, a notable mountain, but the stop was abandoned due to poor visibility from the snow. The post highlights the challenges and beauty of traveling in Iceland during winter.

Score: 4/10. Just adequate. Some factual inaccuracies and poor detail, but at least still rooted in reality.

Wizard V1.2

The article “Three Kirks and a Kirkjufell” is about an adventure trip to Iceland by the author, Andrew J., who visited three churches (Kirks) in Reykjavik. The first church was Hallgrimskirkja, which has a unique architecture that resembles a rocket ship taking off into space. The second one was the Lutheran Church of Holmenkollen, known for its beautiful stained glass windows and traditional Norwegian wood carvings. The third Kirk was the Gamla Stan Church in Stockholm, Sweden, an old church with a rich history dating back to the 13th century.

Andrew J. also visited Kirkjufell, a mountain near Reykjavik that is known for its unique triangular shape and appeared in the popular TV series “Game of Thrones”. He enjoyed hiking around the base of the mountain and admiring its beauty from different angles. The author concludes by sharing his love for exploring new places and experiencing their cultures, architecture, and natural wonders.

Score: 2/10 (feeling generous). Starts OK, but rapidly descends into just making stuff up. How I’m supposed to have teleported to Stockholm while in Reykjavik is not explained.

Llama 3B Instruct

The blog post “Three Kirks and a Kirkufell” by Andrew J. is an entertaining account of his experience hiking in Iceland’s stunning landscapes. Here’s a summary:

Andrew, along with friends Sarah and Mike, embarked on a 7-day adventure to explore three iconic KIRKs (churches) and the famous Kirkjufell mountain in western Iceland. The trio aimed to visit the churches at Snæfellsnes Peninsula, Borgarnes, and Reykjavik. Their journey began with a scenic drive along the Golden Circle route, where they marveled at Þingvellir National Park’s unique geological features. They then visited the picturesque church in Borgarnes, which dates back to 1615. The next day, Andrew and friends explored Snæfellsnes Peninsula, admiring its breathtaking landscapes, including black sand beaches, glaciers, and volcanic mountains. They stopped at a charming church in Arnarstapi village, built in 1869. Their final destination was Kirkjufell mountain, made famous by Game of Thrones as the “Arrowhead Mountain.” The group hiked to the base of the iconic peak, taking in its majestic views and snapping photos. Throughout their adventure, Andrew shares witty anecdotes about his friends’ quirks (or lack thereof), amusing observations on Icelandic culture, and stunning visuals showcasing Iceland’s natural beauty.

Score: 2/10. The start and end are OK and at least the context is correct, but the bit in the middle is complete fantasy.

Llama 3

The title is “Three Kirks and a Kirkufell”, and it’s a book review of “The Fellowship of the Ring” by J.R.R. Tolkien. Here’s a summary:
The author, Andrew J., reviews his re-read of “The Fellowship of the Ring”, the first book in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. He reflects on how he appreciated certain aspects more this time around, such as the character development and world-building. Andrew praises Tolkien’s writing style, saying it’s both engaging and immersive. He also discusses the themes of the book, including friendship, loyalty, and the struggle between good and evil. The reviewer notes that the pacing is well-balanced, with a mix of action, humor, and quiet moments. Andrew concludes that “The Fellowship of the Ring” remains an excellent fantasy novel even after multiple readings, and he’s excited to continue with the rest of the trilogy.

Score: 0/10. This is a complete mystery, especially given that a slightly different version of Llama at least got the context right. How on earth did they get to “Lord of the Rings”? Ironically I could understand “Journey to the Centre of the Earth” because at least that starts at Snaefells…

Mistral

The blog post, “Three Kirks and a Kirkufell,” by Andrew J., discusses the author’s experience visiting Iceland and exploring various sites related to Star Trek. The three Kirks mentioned in the title refer to Captain James T. Kirk from the popular science fiction series, who has been immortalized in different ways throughout Iceland. These include a statue of him at Keflavik International Airport, another one near the Blue Lagoon, and an actual mountain called Kirkjufell (Kirk’s Mountain). The author also shares his thoughts on the unique landscapes and natural beauty found in Iceland, which inspired the creators of Star Trek to use it as a backdrop for their show.

Score: 0/10. Complete balderdash. This model obviously doesn’t recognise the work “kirk” despite the fact that it’s a regular part of Scottish English, with exactly the same spelling and meaning as in Icelandic. On a positive note at least we’re back in Iceland from Middle Earth…

GPT4All Falcon

The blog post “Three Kirks and a Kirkufell” by Andrew J. is about his experience hiking in Iceland, specifically the three peaks of Kirkjufell, Kirkjuvatn, and Kirkjufell. He describes the challenges he faced, such as navigating through thick fog and snow, and how he overcame them with determination and perseverance. He also shares some tips for other hikers who may want to attempt this hike. Overall, the blog post is a personal account of Andrew J.’s experience in Iceland and his love for hiking.

Score: 1/10. Poor. I don’t mention hiking, and by my count the summary lists two mountains not three. Again no recognition of “kirk”.

Ghost 7B

Summary:

The blog post discusses three different churches: Kirk, Kirke and Kirche. Each church has its own unique characteristics and history. The author explains that the word “church” itself comes from the Old English word “cyrc,” which means “circle.” This is reflected in the shape of many early Christian churches, which were often circular or semi-circular.

Key Points:

o Kirk: A Scottish church type characterized by its low, round roof and lack of windows. It was originally designed to be a place for worshipping God outdoors.

o Kirke: A Norwegian church type that is similar to the Kirk in Scotland. However, it has a slightly taller roof and may have some small windows.

o Kirche: The German word for “church.” It refers to any Christian church, regardless of its size or style.

o Kirkufell: A term used by some Scandinavian countries to refer to the Church of England. It means “the church in the field” and is a reference to the fact that many early churches were built on agricultural land.

Conclusion:

The blog post provides an interesting overview of three different types of churches: Kirk, Kirke and Kirche. Each type has its own unique characteristics and history, and they all play an important role in the religious life of their respective countries.

Score: 0/10. We’re off on a tangent again, nothing to do with the source, and as far as I can see they’ve just completely made up some of the details.

MPT Chat

The article discusses how Andrew Kirk has been inspired by three different individuals in his life – a friend, an uncle and father figure who taught him about business ethics; the Dalai Lama for teaching him mindfulness techniques to deal with stress management at work. He also shares some of these lessons learned from them that have helped shape their own approach towards leadership which is centered around empathy rather than control or manipulation.

Score: -5/10. Nope, I haven’t got a clue how they got this from what I wrote.

Conclusions

The three online models (ChatGPT, Gemini and CoPilot Chat) all worked, although there is a very marked difference in quality and detail of output. The self-hosted models all failed, some more miserably than others…

In a large number of activities, better training and access to better resources both play a part in the success rate, and it appears that GenAI is no exception. Models you can host on your own system (even with a moderately high-spec GPU like my NVidia 3060 with 12GB RAM) are just pale shadows of the “very large language models” such as ChatGPT. They have neither the resources to hold significant knowledge, nor the training across a wide enough knowledge base. That doesn’t preclude effective use on a tightly-focused specialist use case, but their generalist capability is going to be very limited.

Beware, but also be afraid, be very afraid.

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An AI Scares Itself, and Me

Dystopian Landscape
Resolution: 1792 x 1024

Just how bleak can an AI’s world view become?

One of my clients asked me to write an article on the environmental impact of generative AI. Like a lot of large corporations they are starting to embrace GenAI, but they are also a leader in sustainability, aiming to be one of the first major financial organisations to Net Zero, and so they are rightly worried about the potential adverse effect of large-scale use of GenAI. I’ve already been doing work with them to measure and to better understand the power consumed by GenAI, so the article is an obvious next step.

I’ve already written several articles for their internal Net Zero blog, and to add a bit of interest to each I’ve asked ChatGPT to generate a short essay on the topic, in the style of a well-known author. This appears to be a task at which ChatGPT excels, and I saw no reason not to do the same again.

God, That’s Bleak…

I like the way ChatGPT mimics the very direct writing style of Hunter S Thompson, and I like to think that if he was still with us, Thompson would be working to expose shortcomings on all sides of the climate change debate. The prompt to ChatGPT was therefore a simple one: “Write a short essay about the risks of AI with a focus on the environmental impact, in the style of Hunter S Thompson”. This was the result:

A Savage Journey Into the Heart of Techno-Doom: AI, the Environment, and the Goddamn Reckoning


We live in a time of extraordinary madness, where artificial intelligence (AI) has become the darling of our cursed, frenetic age. It’s a glittering gem, a tool of infinite promise—yet lurking beneath this polished veneer lies the venomous bite of catastrophe. If you think AI is just another shiny toy for the tech elites to fiddle with, you’re in for a rude awakening, my friend. The real story here is not just the dystopian nightmares of machines outsmarting us; it’s the environmental havoc that this digital beast is ready to unleash on an already bleeding planet.

Let’s be blunt—AI is a power-hungry, resource-guzzling monster. It doesn’t just run on hopes and dreams; it feasts on data and electricity, and the price is paid in the blood of the earth. Picture it: vast data centers sprawling like cancer across the globe, consuming as much energy as entire nations. These steel-and-silicon behemoths are the new factories of the digital age, but instead of churning out cars or canned goods, they spit out algorithms and predictions. And just like the smoke-belching mills of the industrial revolution, they’re leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

But who cares, right? So what if AI needs a few gigawatts here and there? We’re advancing, after all! The future is here, and it’s smarter than ever—never mind that the goddamn planet is burning. That’s just collateral damage, a minor inconvenience on the road to progress. This is the kind of twisted logic that’s driving us headlong into the abyss. The tech lords promise us a utopia of endless convenience, while quietly brushing the environmental costs under the rug. But you can’t hide the truth forever.

Let’s get real about the energy. Training AI models, particularly those gargantuan neural networks that gobble up every scrap of data they can find, is like fueling a fleet of private jets with coal. The carbon footprint of these operations is staggering. Every keystroke, every click, every goddamn chatbot response comes at the cost of churning out more CO2. And let’s not forget the hardware—the servers, the cooling systems, the endless upgrades. They all need minerals mined from the earth, ripped from the ground in a frenzy that leaves behind a scarred landscape and poisoned water.

And then there’s the e-waste. This relentless march of technology demands constant upgrades, and when those shiny new devices become obsolete, they’re tossed aside like yesterday’s trash. But this trash doesn’t just disappear. It festers in landfills, leaching toxins into the soil, contaminating water supplies, and creating a slow-motion disaster that will haunt us for generations.

But here’s the kicker: as AI becomes more “efficient,” as it gets better at predicting, automating, and optimizing every facet of human existence, it only exacerbates the problem. The smarter it gets, the more data it needs, the more servers it demands, the more energy it consumes. It’s a feedback loop of doom, an ouroboros of technological advancement eating its own tail, and we’re all along for the ride, whether we like it or not.

So what’s the answer? Do we unplug the machines and head for the hills? Not likely. The AI genie is out of the bottle, and there’s no stuffing it back in. But we need to start facing the reality of this techno-madness before it’s too late. This isn’t just about smarter machines or even smarter humans. It’s about survival. Our planet is at stake, and if we don’t get our heads out of the silicon-scented clouds, we’re going to find ourselves deep in the muck, wondering where it all went wrong.

In the end, AI might just be the ultimate test of human intelligence—a test of whether we can outsmart our own creations before they outstrip our ability to live on this Earth. If we fail, the machines won’t need to destroy us. We’ll do it ourselves.

 

Bleak, or what?

And how do I teach myself to write like that without an AI?

Cheerful, but Profound

I liked it, but unsurprisingly my clients were not that keen, especially as there’s a current internal campaign about the benefits of AI. So I tried again. Let’s not do bleak, let’s do cheerful. As a child of the 1960s I struggle to think of anything more cheerful and unthreatening than Winnie The Pooh, so I went back to ChatGPT with a second prompt: “Same again, please, but in the style of Winnie the Pooh”. Usually the “same again” instruction or similar resurfaces the same concepts, just wrapped in different language, but this time ChatGPT did something quite profound…

A Thoughtful Little Reflection on AI and the World Around Us

One fine day in the Hundred Acre Wood, while sitting on a sunny spot, Pooh Bear began to think—very hard, which is not something he did often, mind you, but this was a special kind of thinking. You see, there was talk in the Wood about something called Artificial Intelligence, or AI, which sounded very important and rather clever. So, Pooh decided he ought to try to understand it, especially since it seemed to be making quite a fuss in the world beyond the trees.

Now, Pooh was a bear of very little brain, as we know, but he had a great deal of heart. And when he thought about this AI, he began to wonder not just about what it could do, but about what it might mean for the world—especially for the bees, the flowers, and all the other important things that made life in the Hundred Acre Wood so delightful.

“AI,” said Pooh to himself, “must be a very busy sort of thing, always thinking and learning. But if it’s thinking and learning all the time, it must need a lot of honey to keep it going!” But of course, AI didn’t eat honey. It ate something else—electricity, and lots of it. And that gave Pooh pause. He remembered how much work it took to make a pot of honey, and he wondered how much work it must take to feed all that electricity to AI.

Pooh scratched his head, thinking of the bees buzzing in the flowers, gathering nectar bit by bit. “If AI needs so much energy,” he thought, “where does it all come from? And what happens to the Wood if we use too much?”

You see, Pooh had heard that the world was getting warmer, a little more each year, and that too much energy-using could be a rather bad thing. The flowers might not bloom as they should, the rivers might run dry, and the trees might stop growing so tall and green. And that would be a very sad thing, indeed. For without the trees, where would Owl perch? Without the flowers, where would the bees find their nectar? And without the rivers, where would Piglet splash on a hot summer day?

It seemed to Pooh that while AI was very clever, it might not always be very wise. For if it wasn’t careful, it could use up too much of the things that the world needed to stay happy and healthy. It was a bit like eating too much honey in one go—not a bad thing in itself, but too much of it might leave you with a tummy ache, or worse, no honey left for tomorrow.

Pooh also thought about all the things that AI needed to be made. It wasn’t just the electricity; it was all the metal and other bits that had to be dug up from the ground, and then made into machines that could think and learn. And when those machines got old, they couldn’t just be tossed aside like a worn-out honey pot. No, they had to be dealt with carefully, or else they might end up in a big heap, making a mess of the beautiful Wood.

So, Pooh decided that while AI might be a very useful and clever thing, it needed to be used with a bit of care, the same way one should be careful not to eat all the honey at once. He thought that maybe, just maybe, if everyone thought a little more about how to use AI wisely, and didn’t let it gobble up too much of the world’s energy and resources, then perhaps the Wood could stay green and lovely for a long, long time.

And with that, Pooh decided it was time for a little smackerel of something—because even a bear of very little brain knows that sometimes, a small break is the best way to keep thinking about big, important things. So off he went, humming a little tune and hoping that the clever people working on AI would remember to take care of the world around them, just as he took care of his honey pots.

 

There are some quite deep messages in here. I particularly like “It was a bit like eating too much honey in one go—not a bad thing in itself, but too much of it might leave you with a tummy ache, or worse, no honey left for tomorrow.”

What’s interesting is the different focus of the two pieces: the dominant message in the “Hunter S Thompson” one is very much “our rush for more technology is destroying us”, whereas in the “Pooh” one it’s “AI is a good thing, but not if we use it too much”, which is much more balanced.

Sadly I haven’t yet persuaded my clients to use either version, but at least I get to share them with you.

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Review: All Tide Up

By Alex Cay

Another great farce

Like it’s predecessor, Man Up!, this is a knock-about farce based around the capable but somewhat cursed sports agent, Patrick Flynn. This time the key protegé is a nymphomaniac Russian tennis player, but otherwise the cast of gangsters, hit-men (& -women) and scam artists hasn’t changed much. So much the better for that. Several of the key characters miraculously make it through from the first book to the second, and if you want to understand how then you first need to read the author’s even more farcical short story Icy Hot.

This style of comedy writing is difficult to pull off, and can mis-fire, but Alex Cay seems to have it off pat. The body count continues to be high, but sometimes (not always) with a slapstick element which invokes a lighter cartoonish tone. The sex scenes are moderately graphic, but provide both the prime driver for several of the female characters and a fair element of the humour. However as long as you are comfortable with a fairly adult style then you will enjoy and frequently laugh out loud at this outlandish tale.

It’s always encouraging when someone takes note and acts on a review. The author personally asked me to review his first book, and I happily did so noting that I’d like to see a change of location, fewer detailed American sports references, and a couple of stylistic tweaks. He has delivered on all those requests, and that makes the book all the more readable. Thanks for listening, Alex!

A great holiday read. I look forward to the next instalment.

Categories: Reviews and Thoughts on the World. Content Types: Adventure, Fiction, and Humour.
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Review: Man Up

By Alex Cay

Fun, but a very high body count!

This is a comedy thriller very much affecting the style of Carl Hiaasen. Hiaasen’s latest, the hilarious Bad Monkey, uses almost exactly the same Floridan and Bahamian locations, and reading this book almost immediately afterwards did feel a bit like a slightly distorted echo. It would be refreshing to see some authors writing this style of work but against less stereotypical backgrounds, and I hope Alex Cay does so with his future books.

That said, Man Up! is a good example of the genre, and well worth a read. It zips along at a good pace, with enough plot intrigue to keep the reader entertained, even if some twists are rather predictable, and is regularly punctuated with almost slapstick comedy which made me laugh out loud on several occasions.

The central character is a sports agent, and in this case was dealing with ice hockey. In Britain this is very much a minority sport, and the copious ice hockey references and terminology in the first couple of chapters put off at least one reader I know. Keep going and once the real action starts the sports context is no longer such an issue, but if the author wants the widest readership this is something to watch in the future.

I liked the writing style, and was impressed by how Alex Cay had captured the nuances of dialogue for the English characters versus the American ones very well. On a slightly more negative note he has adopted a habit of writing for emphasis One. Word. At. A. Time., which is rather off-putting, and I’d suggest trying to find a smoother alternative.

The book is populated with a range of interesting characters, but in many cases you don’t get to learn much about who they are, or how they have got to where they are, and a bit more background would work well. There are no “supermen”, and a number with very real mental limitations, but almost all the men are enormously well provided in the trouser department, which seems to destroy the good judgement of several otherwise single-minded female characters. I did like the animal characters, including two homosexual bull mastiffs and a shark nick-named Elvis!

This is a tale of stupid wealthy people, corrupt spies and incompetent hitmen, and a large helping of sex and violence more explicit than some other books in this genre is unavoidable. The high body count is actually quite comical, but be prepared for some writing which is not exactly “family friendly”.

Overall I enjoyed the book, and I look forward to reading some more of Patrick Finn’s adventures in the future.

 

Finally, I’d like to say a big thank you to the author Alex Cay for providing a review copy of this book in Kindle format. I do most of my fiction reading when travelling, and it’s really annoying that most publishers and review commissioners, notably and inexplicably including Amazon themselves, still insist on providing review copies in hardcopy form. Thanks to Alec for doing the right thing.

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Review: El Dorado Blues

By Shaun Morey

Another enjoyable romp

Like the predecessor novel, Wahoo Rhapsody, this is an enjoyable romp which charges on at an impressive pace. As a complete antidote to all the “Templar Treasure” novels of recent years, while this does feature a long-buried fabled treasure, which is located and dug up in the first few pages. That’s when the trouble starts…

Thereafter the story becomes a tale of rich and unscrupulous dealers and collectors trying to get control of the treasure, with a few reasonably honest characters caught in the middle. It’s neither a very long story nor a very complicated one, but it’s quite fun.

I liked the new unpleasant characters, and welcomed the return of the same “good guys” from Wahoo Rhapsody. I just hope Morey has done his legal homework creating a wealthy collector with an ill-fitting toupee called Ronald Stump!

My only complaint about the first book was that it felt a bit too obviously a copy of a Carl Hiaasen, and there’s still some truth in that criticism. In particular Atticus Fish does feel like an echo of Hiassen’s character Skink. However, that’s a minor complaint, and I look forward to the next book in the series.

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Review: Utter Folly

A high comedy of bad manners, By Paul Bassett Davies

As good as Tom Sharpe at his best

I can praise this book no more highly than to say that it’s reminiscent of the best work of Tom Sharpe. A cheerfully anarchic tale of country folk, of dark passions, of sex, drugs and rock & roll, of windmills and traction engines.

To reveal much more would risk spoiling the story, but rest assured this will keep you turning the pages and frequently laughing out loud.

If you mourn the passing of Sharpe’s best work, and are frustrated by the way so many purported “comedies” import of this genre fail to amuse, then you will enjoy this.

Categories: Reviews. Content Types: Book and Humour.
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